Sunday 17 March 2013

The Black Hole - Narrative Writing

Across the team we have been viewing "The Black Hole" clip and using this to write our own narratives. Check out the clip and then read our writing samples. Your feedback is always greatly appreciated!

8 comments:

  1. On a gloomy Wednesday afternoon nothing seemed have happened. Then something amazing was about to happen. Matt was staring at his computer printing everything he could because he was so bored. He stumbled over to the aged, grey printer, Waiting for something to come out. Then a circular darkness zoomed out of the worn out printer.

    Slowly Matt slipped his hand though the darkness. The hand disappeared. Matt had an idea. Racing, he sprinted to the candy machine and grabbed about 20 snickers bars. Munching on his 5th snickers bar, he remembered something his boss said, “WE REACHED 1 BILLON FOR THIS COMPANY”. He mumbling to himself, “lets’s go get that 1 billon dollars!”. He ran so fast he looked like a cheetah on a sugar high.

    Finally he reached the black strong safe. Matt snatched the black hole and stuck it to the safe. He slipped his hand though and starting grabbing money. He slithered into the safe slowly and carefully. Matt was stuck in the safe. He wailed to himself, “ I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE!”. Someone must have heard the horrid screeching. This young gorgeous lady came running in and unlocked the old, worn out safe. Matt ran out with the money in his hand.

    Nowadays Matt never goes anywhere without his black hole. And the lady you ask? She is now his beautiful young wife.

    By Alexis Weston

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  2. The Black Hole by Angus

    Bob bolts out of his chair as the photocopier started printing! He sprints over to the photocopier and tries to turn it off but he can’t. It randomly starts printing out black holes. Bob carefully puts his hand through one of the pieces of paper and feels something. He frantically rubs his eyes to make sure he isn’t dreaming. Quickly, he gathers up the piece of paper and strolls up to the vending machine. Bob places the piece of paper onto the glass and sticks his hand through it. He grabs a snickers bar and then he has an idea. Bob strolls up to the safe and does the same thing. He takes loads of money. He hears a noise.
    The black hole is growing like a veggie patch but faster. Bob hurtles towards the hole. He screams for help! but no one replies. The black hole sucks him up like a vacuum cleaner and Bob is never to be seen again.

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  3. The Black Hole

    It was an ordinary day at the office until the photocopier started snapping. Then spat out something not so suspicious. ‘‘It’s just a big black dot on a plain piece of paper’,’yelled George. He reaches to pick it up but his hand goes right through the middle and disappeared down the black hole. Right then George remembered his boss talking to him about a big load of cash in the company’s safe. H e suddenly dashes to the giant black and grey door grabbing the beastly black hole. He nervously placed it on the door. Quickly he snatched his hand through the black hole and unlocked the massive door. There in the middle of the room was a big bulky safe. George was quickly overtaken by greed. The lights flickered on and off as he slowly stood his ground. Then he rushed to the dull safe. George stuck the mysterious black hole onto the big safe and started swiping cash out of the safe. Then George started to become greedy, He was so greedy he wanted more cash. So he decided to crawl inside and try to take as much money as he could get. But while his perfect plan was in action the black hole mysteriously fell off. The manager came bursting in he saw the door wide open and the lights were on. He unlocked the safe and found George inside. He slammed the door shut and called the police. Later when George was in prison he suspiciously spotted a photocopier.....


    By Harriet Boyd.

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  4. BEEP! The photocopier was slowly breaking but when hit the ground a piece of paper with a pitch black hole on it flew out of the photocopier and landed in Fredy’s bony hands. Fredy gasps, but with a cheeky smile he remembered
    his favourite T.V show, “Tree big boys”, in one episodes they said if anyone happens to make a black hole you can practically do what you want! Gently, he picked it up
    and stuck it to the vending machine. He greedily swiped 4 snickers bars and crunchy bars...

    Todd Dunn

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  5. Gary started freaking out like being bit into by a spider. He rolled the heavy silver safe to the ground. Suddenly he fell to the bottom of the building. The safe smashed. He was left unconscious until the next day.
    Gary said “my head, it’s throbbing hardcore, I can’t remember anything.”
    He looks at the remains of the safe. Oh God, he dashes up stairs and accidentally smashes stuff, occasionally he would trip over. He grabbed the black hole and ripped it apart and did not think of the consequences. He stormed up the space time continuum rip and without any hesitation sucked everything in. Then it stopped for a second and then start again. The end was upon us. Then his boss flew by saying “you really messed up this time you’re fired”
    John Evans

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  6. Beep beep the paper was rapidly piling up at the end of the photocopier.

    After yawning for the tenth time in a row Rob’s eyes suddenly widened. Rob rubbed his eyes franticly to check he wasn’t imagining it. Carefully he picked up the paper. Suddenly a big bold black circle appeared on the A3 peace of paper.

    Rob was star-struck. Rob was also confused. He put his hand though it.It went straighht through.Rob giggled and taped the piece of paper to the dark grey safe and was taking piles and piles of crispy cash.

    Savarnnah Taylor

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  7. Beep,beep. The paper was gigantically piling up at the end of the slow photo copier. Then after a while a strange black hole slowly came out of the photo copier. Bob sipped his coffee and placed his coffee cup on the black hole. It disappeared. Bob was scared. Bob slowly put his hand in the black hole. Bob slowly brought his hands out of the black hole. Bob ran over to the chocolate machine. Bob put the black hole on the chocolate machine and he put his hand in it...

    Linkin Turner

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  8. The Black Hole Continued
    By Omar
    copyright© Tuesday, March 26, 2013

    As I furiously smashed the lock of the safe, I realized that there was no hope.
    The night was long and cold, I couldn't sleep. The next morning I woke up hearing my boss and his cheerful morning voice say:
    “Well Its time to go deposit this $30,000 dollars in my extremely safe, safe.”
    I panicked as he opened the door.
    “Joe what are you doing in my safe, and why is most of my hard earned money stuffed down your pants?” he asked.
    “I was keeping it warm,” I replied.
    “GET OUT OF MY BUILDING!” he yelled so loud that the cats next door hissed with fear.


    So I walked out sniffling and sobbing, but on my way out I saw my piece of paper with the black hole on it. I picked it up smiled and left without a word. When I got back I went down into my basement pulled a chip of wood, and out came all of my robbery gear as well as my cape that read:
    ROBIN BANKS, which in fact was my real name.


    I took a Scar-H, rope, some sticky, frag, and plasma grenades as well as some C4s and a C4 detonator. Then at exactly
    1:00am I left for the building on my slick black pedal bike, black hole in hand.
    “With all the money I steal, I’ll have enough to buy a helicopter” I grinned.


    I scaled the building with the rope and when I reached the top I smashed the windows open. I pulled the rope back up and lowered myself into the building with it. I sneaked into the safe room. I grabbed about 8 million dollars and snuck out. I had just unlocked the front door when I felt a painful throbbing in the back of my head, I blacked out.


    When I woke up I found my boss furiously trying to work my gun.
    “Give it here and I’ll work it,” I yelled at him.
    “Fine,” he snapped.
    So he untied me then gave me the gun, and I said “thanks” then shot him in his legs.
    While he was sobbing on the floor I was placing C4s around the room.
    “No please, please no,” he whimpered.
    I shot him in his arms and that shut him up.
    I took all the money from him and decided that I would not blow the building up.
    “Thank you, and may god have mercy on you,” he cried.
    “Oh I’m still going to blow you up,” I snickered as I stuck a C4 on his face.
    He was helpless his arms, legs disabled I left the building and pressed the button...

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